Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ank_myrandor's LiveJournal:

Thursday, December 15th, 2005
8:50 pm	(Comment on this)
Monday, November 7th, 2005
8:18 pm	Queensryche - Silent Lucidity Hush now don't cry Wipe away the teardrop from your eye You're lying safe in bed It was all a bad dream Spinning in your head Your mind tricked you to feel the pain Of someone close to you leaving the game of life So here it is, another chance Wide awake you face the day Your dream is over...or has it just begun? There's a place I like to hide A doorway that I run to in the night Relax child, you were there But only didn't realize it and you were scared It's a place where you will learn To face your fears, retrace the tears And ride the whims of your mind Commanding in another world Suddenly, you hear and see This magic new dimension I-will be watching over you I-am gonna help you see it through I-will protect you in the night I-am smiling next to you...in silent lucidity If you open your mind for me You won't rely on open eyes to see The walls you built within Come tumblng down, and a new world will begin Living twice at once you learn You're safe from pain in the dream domain A soul set free to fly A round trip journey in your head Master of illusion, can you realize Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but... (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
12:26 am	Dark hour the clock is ticking ... time passes by , but still i'm not tired. not tired of everyday.. no need for sleep after a day walking in this world. When sleeping early i'm awake the whole night, After going to bed late i can't sleep properly... and if i don't sleep i'm wasted the day thereafter.. I really hate watching the time that only ticks away, knowing the fact that i'm still alone waiting for someone to cross my path. I Curse you Time, For the moments i have to wait untill.. Time fades, I will wait .. wait till the moment passes by .. Haven't i earned a real life already instead of one wasted in time ? haven't proven myself in this era ? how many more times do I have to wait ?! Time is Waste (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
12:00 am	Join Me In Death !!! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 23rd, 2005
1:50 pm	for the ones who still haven't seen him or don't know , my first tattoo i've known already for a long time i would be known by Ank Myrandor for the rest of my life, this is just one of my statements, to say i would like to be known by Ank Myrandor and not by the names my parents gave me, because i haven't chosen to carry that name... She's still in my mind, until forever .... Its a long time since i've seen or spoken her but still after more than one year i can't get her out of my mind, you were my gurl , i thought it would last my whole life everytime I hear something about you it causes pain in my heart. I Lost my Beloved (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
11:14 pm	well still being alone in the dark, having a single candle watching over me. The world is changing .. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
1:00 am	Life goes on my life goes on, and my opinion about life is to learn as much as possible, seek knowledge, because knowledge is wisdom currenty working my first little project in corel painter IX , a awesome digital drawing program. Having my first work here, still work in progress though, but yeah i only know 0.000001% of this drawing program. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
11:57 pm	I'm not addicted to World of Warcraft !!!! edited* Current Mood: crazy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
11:35 pm	(Comment on this)
11:06 pm	Petra 21-04-2005 Meid waarom kan je gewoon niet normaal zijn zoals een vrouw hoort te zijn, waarom begeer je alleen macht en geld? Waarom kan je niet zijn waar liefde echt om gaat? Waarom wil je gewoon misbruik maken van andere mensen om je eigen leven makkelijker te maken? Ik dacht dat we onvoorwaardelijke liefde hadden, dat wij de enige waren die anders waren dan de rest van de wereld. Waarom kon je niet zo zijn? Kon je geen afstand nemen van de materialistische wereld waarin we in leven? Kon je bij mij niet zweven naar de hoogste der aarde en daar verblijven zonder enige twijfel, angst of schaamte? Was ik niet degene waarvoor jij leefde? Waarbij onze levens in elkaars handen werden geschonken. Waarom kon ik niet degene zijn die je kon laten zien dat we voor elkaar bestemd waren. Waarom kon je geen afstand doen van deze wereld voor elkaar? Waarom heb je mij zo moeten bedriegen op de manier waarop je het hebt gedaan. Mijn hart is nog steeds verscheurd, nog steeds gebroken, nog steeds heb ik nog niet aan een andere vrouw gedacht dan aan jou aan mijn zijde, nog geen liefde wat ik opnieuw heb kunnen voelen. Ik heb je laten weten dat ik degene ben die voor altijd de ringen zal blijven dragen. Dat ik degene ben die geen liefde zou vinden. Jij zei hetzelfde, alleen zijn jou woorden vergif uit de mond van een slang. En heb je zelfs mijn vrienden proberen te verleiden. Door jou ben ik 2 vrienden kwijtgeraakt mijn vraag is alleen waarom? Waarom moest je zo handelen? Waarom moest je mij gebruiken om je niet alleen te voelen, waarom gebruikte je mij als een perfect slachtoffer om bij te kunnen leven. Waarom ben je nooit eerlijk geweest. Waarom ben je nooit uitgekomen voor wat je waarlijk bent. Je laat me nu nog meer pijn achter door te laten zien wat je waarlijk bent. Door je laatste woorden, door wat je nu doet in je leven en met wie jij je leven leid. Onze relatie was gebaseerd op leugens, verdraaiingen, lust en ik had het niet eens door. Ik vraag me af of je gelukkig bent, of je nu waarlijk gelukkig bent, of dat je alleen een ander bedriegt totdat je diegene ook helemaal naar je hand kan zetten. Ik heb er spijt van dat ik je zo heb moeten laten gaan, ik heb er spijt van dat ik zoveel heb geprobeerd om er nog een echte relatie van te maken, Ik heb er spijt van dat ik zoveel van je houd want het duwt me alleen maar verder de diepte in. Ben ik de enige die zoveel waarde hecht aan eerlijkheid, openlijkheid, en waarlijk liefde? Of ben jij degene die dat gewoon niet kon zijn. Ik vraag me nog steeds af hoe onze relatie nu zou zijn als we er nog een zouden hebben. Het liefste zou ik willen dat je kon zijn wat ik dacht dat je kon zijn, de perfecte vrouw. Maar steeds blijven vluchten heeft geen zin. Maar alleen zijn in deze realiteit is donker, het verdriet gaat op en neer, maar de haat blijft, de haat blijft bestaan. (Comment on this)
11:04 pm	Loneliness 20-04-2005 Je loopt in de nacht door een woestijn van Zwart zand. Je kunt de horizon niet zien, geen lichtpuntje of een klein sparkeltje van licht. Je loopt vooruit maar het lijkt alsof de tijd stilstaat, alsof je niet meer vooruit kan want je lichaam voelt zwaar. Je wilt slapen om door te tijd heen te komen zodat het niet lijkt alsof je alleen bent, Maar je kan niet slapen omdat het lijkt alsof de tijd stilstaat. Je probeert over dingen na te denken, maar dat lukt niet. Het lijkt alsof te tijd niet vooruit wilt gaan. Het lijkt alsof je niet bestaat. Het lijkt alsof je onzichtbaar bent voor de rest van de wereld. Je hoofd is zwaar, zwaarder dan alle emoties die je kunt verdragen. Het liefst kwijn je weg van deze wereld, die je niet accepteert. Waarom moet je er zijn als ze doen alsof je niet bestaat. Waarom is het leven zo leeg zonder andere mensen die je accepteren. Anders zijn dan de rest van de wereld is een last, een last op je schouders. Kan je die innerlijke rust maar vinden, waarin je gelukkig was, waar je niet nadacht over het leven maar leefde. Leven in een wereld waar je niet bang hoeft te zijn, waar je jezelf kan zijn. Een wereld waarin je jezelf kan worden met de tijd die je daarvoor nodig hebt. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
11:40 pm	when ...... when will the new day arise? the day where we can follow our dreams? where the skies are blue, tears are wet and candles sing? when will the darkness fade before our eyes, and sins washed out of our minds? when will the day come where we will be free. when music can fly, and the earth shall dance.... when our spirits revive... (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
11:51 pm	Petra Hush baby, don't cry .. it's all okay now, while the moon fades from the sky. lifeless tears floating down the stream. why shouldn't life be just like a dream? silent flows the song past our ears. these pains will last for years, but hush baby hush now, it's not what u say and how. I still love you, the feeling still hasn't fade. many time I wished there was a way. A way for you to stay in the way. the way I wanted you to be.. now you're away somewhere in this world living your life. I'm staring at our rings and still wander why. why did it went that way? couldn't be there another day? to love each other without decay? even though I am the one that left u behind, doesn't mean your not in my mind. in my mind every day. I wished this relation turned out another way. I wished you were the girl i could be proud of saying she's my wife. but the only thing that's left is my lonely miserable life. I hope you have a happy life, not like the troubles we had, I never wished to have our relation to end like that. you were the one in my life. I really wished for a long time that you could be my wife. It still hurts so bad, You're still the only woman i've had, I haven't felt for anyone else like I did with you. Do you feel the same with you're new lover like you loved me? was our love true or was it only me, that loved you for infinity? hush baby hush, it was only me ... the one that could see the true you, I hope your new friend can do that too. I still wear the rings every day in my life, in memory for the woman i wished that could be my wife... Ank Myrandor Current Mood: as always (Comment on this)
11:20 pm	Memories memories floating lifeless round me. The stillness surrounds me, the emptiness thats left deep inside, swallows me as death extinguishes life. What is the beauty of a beast that's left alone in his dark path? a beast that only thinks to destroy life to show his own strenght. his own capabilities that surpasses this insane sin world. Lonely left behind in the darkness. Lifeless living on. the tears. the blooddry tears on my cheek. I can't even cry anymore.. what will be left of me after this? after my life of misery and pain? the endless pain makes me suffer, even though I thought i didn't have any feelings left. their still burning in the endless oblivion, where I was thrown in. Falling, Sinking into the deepness, I wander, when can i see the hand? the one that pulls me out? the one that will breach my loneliness and truly understands? I wished I could cry, I wished that I could forget and fly freely with emotions. while falling let's pray, pray for an answer... for the one that will make the difference, to make my life worthwhile again. I keep on tumbling into the depths.... Current Mood: <--- yeah right =| (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
10:59 pm	Which Naruto Character Are You? Test by naruto - kun.com (Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
12:10 am	Timeless thoughts, while being here, i wished i could wander off. To be trapped in a Human body, it feels that you're limited every second of your life. Dreams, thoughts, wishes, everything wanders their own way, The road you can't controll. while being between awake and sleep I wonder why we live our lives. Wandering, sleep, unknown, thoughtless, lifeless..Scars remember the days. the days that shouldn't be relived. shouldn't be seen again. shouldn't be felt again. Still waiting on a moment, that moment that takes time away. Current Music: Nightwish - Dead to the world (Comment on this)
Monday, July 11th, 2005
8:02 pm	thank you muck_ that you're concerned about me :) i truly am grateful :) so this is dedicated to my happiness ^^ Current Mood: =D Current Music: Don Henly - The boys of summer (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
11:29 pm	Death takes us all The sounds of thousands. the smell of years. the lifeless tears . the mindless thoughts while lying arround in a pose. all those vermin that crawls and goes. while lying in that pose watching you're own life decompose. the minds sees the body rot wondering when it's floating away. Why see you're own body rot, why stay. nobody will come untill your gone till the bone. even though you never chose to die alone.... (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
10:44 pm	The heat of a Candle Staring at the bright sky, sparkling the stars disappear behind the night sky. I'm wandering whats it like behind the horizon ? beyond that line, infinity is. the candles burn in the calm summer wind. At these nights i wander how it is to fly. The candles flow like the sound of the wind, peaceful and quiet. while time flows, i'm stuck at this moment, like it will last forever. the sky is changing. peaceful is passing towards loneliness. a sweat melody floating in the night sky. Moments don't last forever, only a hunch in your own deepless mind, time to melt under the earth, mindless thinking until the next time somebody summons me... Current Mood: this is crap : mood sucks Current Music: Counting crows (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
1:21 am	the beginning of a new era I can still smell the taste of the wind trough my hair.Listen to the world, to the music its singin. Yess, for sure.. this time of the year is awesome, to set the sails sky high to travel beyond infinity. Even when it's hard work to get everything done, it's nice to taste the salt from you're tears. It wont be long before we reach the moon, only 2 era's away. Even though I'm alone i have to keep in mind that nobody will turn against me in these rough conditions. The sails still hold the strong winds, yess , with these conditions we'll get to infinity in the fastest way, while checking the Great Sails i can say for sure, with this wind the house moved 5 inch already... Current Mood: like always Current Music: Iron Maiden - Wasted Years (14 Comments |Comment on this)